Wheel Barrels, Wagons and Trains - Walden Welch Astrologer

"Wheel Barrels, Wagons and Trains"

The Final Installment of "The Childhood Years" of "In Touch With His Soul, An Interview with Walden Welch", as conducted by Gina Cerminara.

Dr: "What a story! What a sad and horrible story! It is unimaginable how any man could be so insensitive. Have you any idea why Guy was so brutal towards you? I realize that you have discussed his nature before, however, I still cannot comprehend what reason, or what excuse he may have had, for such mistreatment."

WW: "As a child I could not comprehend it either. I accepted the difficulties of our relationship by assuming that I was not his natural child and, therefore, I was a burden to him. As you know, there are those who cannot, or are not willing to, accept a child that is not their own flesh and blood. I assumed this was Guy's attitude towards me. I also thought he viewed me as 'a sissy' or a 'Mama's boy'. Due to the circumstances of my responsibilities in life: cooking, nursing, housework, etc., I suppose that it would be fair to say that I was. However, as an adult I can look back upon this situation in a totally different perspective. I believe that Guy was very much in love with my mother. Or at least he believed that he was. Her love and emotional relationship with me was far more intimate than anything she could share with him. They were two people with absolutely nothing in common. Guy lacked sensitivity. He had no idea how to acquire it. Mom, on the other hand, was intensely sensitive to all those around her. People and their problems greatly affected her. She became intimately and emotionally involved with all those she loved. Guy was jealous of that. He didn't know how to reach her. For this reason I feel sorry for him as I look back in retrospect. I was the most important person in my mother's life and he resented being second in line. It is that simple and, in a sadly pathetic way, it is understandable why he resented me."

Dr: "I think you have given a very perceptive and kind analogy of the man's reasoning. I find it remarkable that you could find it within yourself to excuse him."

WW: "I can forgive and excuse him because I truly believe that I now understand him. I'm not at all angry or hostile towards him anymore. My mother had a strange affect upon the men in her life. She was not seeking it, but she did. When she discovered the obsession men held towards her she became disgusted with it. Her men possessed her and they wanted no competition whatsoever from me or anyone else. You will see what I mean as we delve further into my story. The only exception to this statement would have been Les. I think it fair to say he used her to get to me. His sexual deviation required that he win and wed her to acquire her child for his own sinister purposes."

Dr: "Your observances are fascinating and, I think, most accurate. Now, let's return to the day of the fight·when you ran across the street to seek safety in Sue Martin's home."

WW: "Very well·back to 'The Incredible True Tales of Cinderfella!'"

Dr: (Laugh) "I love you!"

WW: (Laugh) "I love you too!

That day Mom held true to her word. We had left Guy forever and were never to return. The two of us went into hiding for the next two or three weeks. The funny thing was, our hiding place was at Sue's house directly across the street! Guy and Bucky did not know that, of course, but due to Mom's pride there really wasn't any place else for us to go. As I told you, she refused to burden any one with her personal problems, or to accept charity in anyway. I suppose we could have stayed with my Aunt Marion or Aunt Lorraine. But Mom refused, saying: 'We have already taken advantage of them once before and I won't do it again.' Grandma and Grandpa were out of the question so far as she was concerned. 'I don't want them to know a thing about this until it is all over and finished,' she said. 'I have caused them too much grief already with my stupid mistakes and I don't want to worry them again.' Besides, as peculiar as it was to be hiding across the street from the enemy, Sue was the best person to be with during this major change in our lives. Our situation was very scary though, not at all unlike 'The Diary Of Anna Frank'. Mom and I were not allowed to answer the telephone during the daytime while Sue was away at work. If Guy or Bucky were to phone and there was a busy signal, they would be sure to know where we were. We could rarely leave the house for a minute during our whole stay. The drapes were all drawn so no one could see in. Sue left just a small parting in the front window curtain where we could watch with direct view the comings and goings of our enemies across the street. Sue even had a secret knock which we had to adhere to."

Dr: "What do you mean 'a knock'? Do you mean a door knock·knocking on a door?"

WW: "I do. Now I'm going to take you back a long time ago. Do you remember the television program 'Dragnet' with Jack Webb?"

Dr: "Good Lord yes! That was a long time ago. It was a very popular show."

WW: "It was Sue's and Mom's favorite. So Sue adapted our secret knock around the theme song. Remember 'Dum!Dum!Dum!Dum!·Dum!Dum!Dum!·Dum!·Dum!?"

Dr: (Laughing) "Indeed I do!"

WW: "Well, when Sue would return home from work we were NEVER to unlock the door to any knocking sound except that one. That was our cue that 'the coast is clear' as she would say. Now that I think about it, that knock code was actually the sound that changed Mom's and my lives forever."

Dr: "But what about the day you two first left Guy. Did he try to get you to return? Did he come to apologize? I'm interested in what his reaction to your leaving was?"

WW: "For the first two days Guy behaved insanely! He phoned us repeatedly. Mom spoke with him once or twice. Their relationship was absolutely over so far as she was concerned and he might as well save his breath. Guy begged, threatened and pleaded, but Mom would not give in. He even threatened to come over and break down the door and carry us back home. Sue put a stop to that! 'Try it you bastard!', she screamed into the phone. 'You so much as put one toe on my property and I'll blow your ugly head off!' (Laugh) Guy took heed. He knew Sue to be a woman of her word. He never came over. One day when Guy was away at work Sue phoned Bucky. She told him Mom and I had moved out of town to live with a relative. She also told him that we needed our belongings and we wanted arrangements made for them to be picked up. Naturally Bucky passed the word to Guy and the phone calls and the threats ceased. You see, Guy had refused to let us come back and claim any of our clothing or other personal belongings. He actually went so far as to collect all of our belongings, move them out of the house, and lock them, more than securely, in the pump house in the back yard. Bucky let this fact be known to Sue. That little pump house was as secure as Ft. Knox. There were no windows or any other openings on it except the front door. Guy must have had three huge padlocks securing it. It would have taken Houdini to figure a way to open it. I will never forget the evening when Sue and I braved an attempt to break into that shed. I recall that it was a very dark night. We all three watched as Guy and Bucky drive out of their driveway through the narrow parting in Sue's living room curtain. Within minutes after they drove away Sue grabbed a hatchet and handed me a flashlight and we dashed across the street and into the back yard where the pump house was. It was then that we saw the multiple padlocks and chains Guy had fastened to the door. 'That mean old bastard!', Sue exclaimed. 'That downright mean and hateful hearted old son-0f-a-bith!' Well, she just started chopping and hacking on that pump house door with all her might! I swear sparks flew from the hatchet clashing against the metal of the locks and chains and splinters of wood flew everywhere! The more she whacked the more she cussed and name called. And then, for whatever reason, Guy and Bucky returned home. As the headlights to Guys Buick pulled into the driveway, Sue and I hid behind the shed. Afraid to walk down the driveway and past the house, we sat on the lawn and watched Bucky and Guy as they walked by various windows inside the house. We must have hid there for at least an hour before they finally turned out the lights and went to bed. We took several deep breaths and then finally mustered up the courage to sneak back out the driveway past Guy's bedroom window. Careful to not make noise on the gravel we removed our shoes and crawled on our hands and knees the entire way. We were terrified! When we got home Mom was all upset and beside her self with worry as to what had happened to us? She nursed our gravel cut knees, hands and feet with Iodine as we told her the frightening experience we had just gone through. Sue, as always, had the perfect summation, 'I swear to the Almighty, Honey·Me and Little Zeke won't be in need of another bowl movement till next year!'"

Dr: (Laughing) "Wonderful! What a wonderful lady."

WW: "Indeed she was! She had taken it upon herself to shelter and protect Mom and I despite the fact that she was personally going through the hardest time of her life. I mean, of course, her divorce from Ken. It was no secret that she was still in love with the man and devastated over the fact he had left her for another, and younger woman. Unable to bear the grief she had decided to sell her home and return to her family roots in Idaho. She was in the process of making all these arrangements for her life during the time Mom and I imposed our lives upon her. Another imposition, which I alone subjected Sue to, was the matter regarding the missing $500. Needless to say, my biggest upset of all was the loss of that money. I did not have the heart to tell Mom it had been taken. She was going through so many problems of her own that it would be just too devastating to add another. I was fearful of the moment she would ask me to give her the money so that she could return it to Bud. I spent a couple of nights lying in bed awake, worrying about what I should do to handle this situation. It was obvious I would have to go to Sue and explain what had happened, and so I did. She was very upset by the news, but not at all upset with me. She swore me to secrecy not to tell Mother which, of course, was a blessing for me. $500 was a great deal of money in those days! Sue struggled just to make ends meet, however, this kind and generous lady handed me five one hundred dollar bills from her savings, told me to put it in my pocket and pretend it had been there all the time. At dinnertime I was to say to Mom, 'Oh Mom, by the way·I forgot to give you back Dad's money. You better take it so I don't loose it.'"

Dr: "And did you?"

WW: "Yes I did. Sue never let on she knew one thing about it. She and I kept this secret between us. It was not until many years later that I told Mom the true story."

Dr: "Now· how did you and your mother ever get out of this situation? What finally happened that you and Julie were able to escape from this 'nowhere else to go' situation?"

WW: "In the end we owed it all to Sue·her private talk with my father at the hotel, phone calls to him Mom and I were unaware of·and that Dragnet knock. One morning I was in the kitchen alone, reading a magazine. Sue and I had just eaten our breakfast and she had left for work. Mom hadn't gotten out of bed yet. I heard the sound of a car pull into the driveway and park. Next I heard that familiar knock of·Dum! Dum! Dum! Dum!·Dum! Dum! Dum!·Dum! Dum! Thinking it was Sue and that she may have returned home because she had forgotten something, I walked to the door and opened it. To my astonishment there stood my Father! 'Hi, Wally,' he said. 'I've come for a visit. Would you tell Julia I'm here?' Before I could answer him I heard Mom calling from the hallway, 'Who's at the door? Did Sue forget something?' I turned around to tell her that Bud was here. She had just gotten out of bed and was still wearing her night robe. I will never forget the look on her face when she saw Bud standing in the doorway. She looked embarrassed. Her face blushed red and I could see little tears forming at the corners of her eyes. It was obvious she had not expected him. My dad stepped into the room, never once taking his eyes off her. 'Hi, Julie,' he said. He walked past me to where she was standing. 'Do you mind if I hug you?', he asked. His hands trembled as he placed his arms around her. Mom just stood there weeping. When he released his embrace, she sat herself in a chair, put her head down and wept. There were no words. The moment of their first meeting since I was five years old made me know that the love they once had for one another was still there.

"That evening Dad took Mom to dinner. Sue said it would be best that I stay home with her for they had lots of catching up to do and 'grown up' things to talk about. Sue said I would be sleeping with my father in the guest room and Mom would share her bed that night. After dinner she and I we went to bed. I left a night light on in my room and waited and waited for Mom and Dad to come home. When they arrived I pretended I was asleep. The two of them came into my room. They whispered something to each other and then I secretly peeked as my father kissed my mother 'good night'. It was a long and romantic kiss. I had never seen Mom be romantic before. It was more than wonderful to see her this happy. She was so different than I had ever seen her before·shyly embarrassed, girlish and with an awesome look of adoration when she looked into my fathers face. That night I prayed that Mama could always stay this happy. 'Please, God·let something wonderful finally come her way.' Dad got into bed beside me. It did not take him long before he fell to sleep. Unconsciously he wrapped one of his arms around me, and I lay there all night, happy, too happy to sleep.

"The next morning the four of us had breakfast together. Afterwards Sue drove my father to the train station so that he could return home. Mom and I were very disappointed that we could not go along with them, but Guy's car was in the driveway across the street and naturally we were afraid he might see us. After saying our 'good-byes' Sue put my fathers arm around her waist. 'Let's walk to the car together, Handsome.' She said gaily. 'I want that bastard across the street to think I had a one night stand with a tall dark handsome stranger. That will give him something to choke on!' Sue turned to Mom and gave her a wink. 'If you don't marry this man,' she said, 'I'm giving you fair warning that I will. I'm going to put on my war paint and go for him myself.'

"'If you don't marry him?' I couldn't believe my ears. Did my father ask her to marry him? 'Mama, why did Sue say that? Why did Sue say, "if you don't marry him then I will?"' Mom put an arm around my shoulder and led me to the kitchen table where she pulled up a chair for me to sit. 'Let's sit down and talk for a few minutes, Sweetie. I have something very important to discuss with you. This matter concerns both of us and it is very important that we make a decision together that will greatly affect our lives.' The words she had just spoken were spoken very slowly. Before she could finish them I knew what she was going to say. 'Oh, Mama! He asked you to marry him didn't he? Oh, Mom, I'm so happy for you!' I was so excited that I could barely catch my breath. 'Now wait!', she continued. 'Yes he did ask me to marry him but "me" is really "us". By "us" I mean you and me. This matter concerns you as much as it does me. Therefore, it is very important that you think this over before making any decision.' 'But it's what you want! I know its what you want, Mom,' I said excitedly. 'No, Honey. What I want is what you want. That is why I insist that you think about this·sleep on it, before you give me an answer. It would mean that you would have to make great changes in your life. You would have to leave Stockton, your friends and family, your school·' 'But there's nothing left to leave,' I said interrupting her. 'Ken's gone and Sue's going away too. Joanie and Brutus have died. Grandma, Grandpa and Marilyn have all moved away. I don't have any other friends. There's no one here to be here for.' 'Now wait! Let me finish.' Mom continued, 'We have other alternatives too. Your Father has offered to support us if we choose to get a place of our own. It has not been right for me refuse his help because it prevents you from having the life and things you deserve. I will not let my pride stand in the way this time. I'll be well soon and be able to get a job so he won't have to carry the full burden for long. So you see·it is not necessary for me to marry him in order for you and I to take care of each other. We two could get a house together anyplace you choose. We could stay here in Stockton, or move to Santa Cruz near Grandma and Grandpa·or anywhere that you think you might like to live. Bud said that even if we decided not to marry him he would like it if we considered moving to Bakersfield near him so that he could see you more often...so that's another option for you too think about too. You don't have to make any decision until you are ready. I want you to think about what you would really, really like to do and we'll have another discussion later and then decide. O.K.?' 'Mom, I already decided. I know how much you love him. I always knew. Now that he's well and doesn't drink anymore you two can pick up where you left off. That will be the most wonderful thing that has ever happened for you! Don't you see? You gotta do this! It's the answer to everything,' I pleaded. 'Honey, there is another problem too. You see, we couldn't be married for a year because my divorce from Guy takes that long to become final. Therefore, if we moved in with him right away we wouldn't really be married and that might bother you? But, if you decide you want to do this I will promise you that I will sleep in a separate bedroom from Bud until we can be legally married.' Mom knew how idealistic and puritanical I was regarding moral matters. What she didn't realize was how ignorant I was about sex. However, she couldn't sway me from my determination that they be together as quickly as possible. 'It's o.k. if you have to wait a year to get married. That's the law and there is nothing you can do about it. And there's no sense in you having to sleep alone in a separate bedroom because you two were already married once before·just so long as you don't do anything funny for a year!'

Dr: (Laugh) "In other words, NO BELLYBUTTONS!"

WW: "EXACTLY! (Laugh)."

Dr: "I'm very touched by the manner in which Julia offered you the opportunity of making the decision as to whether she would marry or not. I realize that many people might think that this was an unfair decision to have a child make, but I think I understand why she offered you the choice."

WW: "I'm glad that you have the sensitivity to understand, and I believe that you do. Mom was in no way playing the martyr. Some people may see it this way, but I know that was not her approach. She felt she owed me the opportunity of choosing whatever my idea of happiness was, considering the guilt she felt for putting the two of us in two very difficult marital situations already. She was an extremely brave and unselfish woman. She would not even admit to herself that her chronic bad health would be able to prevent her from supporting us. I believe that the day she left Guy she was determined that she and I would be living on our own. I know for a fact she had no idea whatsoever that my father would ever re-enter her life. I had known since my first memories that she still loved him and regretted their divorce. However, due to his alcoholism she felt she had no choice but to leave him. 'He's a wonderful man,' she had always told me. 'I left him because he had a sickness called alcoholism and I could not cure it. I didn't want you to see that sickness and that is why I left him.'

"Sue was the one who brought them back together. Unbeknownst to my mother, Sue had contacted my father by phone on several occasions. She told him how difficult our lives had become and she felt: 'It's about time you did your duty and helped them financially so they can rent a home and get away from the monster she has been married to!' Dad had unknowingly been led to believe that Mom and I were very happy since she had married Guy. He said that he had stepped out of our lives altogether because Mom had refused both alimony and child support from the very beginning. He told Sue that the reason he had kept out of my life was: 'I believed that Wally finally had a chance to have a real father. I had so ruined all our lives with my alcoholism that I felt that if I kept out of the boys and his stepfathers' lives it would be better for their relationship. It was the only noble and unselfish thing I have ever done.' Most importantly, he confessed to Sue that he was still in love with my mother, he had never remarried and it would be the answer to his prayers if he could have the chance to be with her again. So, Sue played the matchmaker! Behind each of their backs she plotted her scheme. His visit to see me had all been arranged by her. The letter he had given me to secretly give to my mother was actually a confession of his love for Mom and a plea that she please give him a 'second chance'. In that Sue was Mom's closest friend, she was well aware that Mom had never stopped loving Bud. So, Sue made all these secret phone calls letting him know our daily events so that he could plot his strategy in hopes of pursuing Mom. The sentence Sue spoke that brought them back together was, 'Mr. Welch, if you love Julia as much as I know she does you, and then you'll get your ass up here pronto before she gets away. The following day he arrived at our back door."

Dr: "What a wonderful love story, a truly remarkable love story. They were obviously destined for each other. Please continue. What happened next?"

WW: "Having made the decision to return to my father, we had only one more problem to solve before we could set the date we would depart."

Dr: "To obtain your clothing and possessions?"

WW: "Exactly! I don't know what took Mom's lawyer so long to acquire the legal help to achieve this. Perhaps these divorce matters took longer in those days. I don't know, but the waiting dragged on for close to three weeks."

Dr: "So how did you two achieve repossession?"

WW: "Well, in all fairness and truth, 'we' didn't exactly. A little devil turned angel made the delivery."

Dr: "I don't understand?"

WW: "On that particular morning when Mom and I received our belongs back, she and I were having breakfast together. Sue had already left for work. Mom and I were seated together at the breakfast table waiting for our waffles to brown when suddenly we heard a strange metallic sound coming from outside. It sounded as if a heavy metal object was being dragged through the gravel in the driveway outside. It definitely wasn't the sound of a car's wheels. He just sat where we were, somewhat frozen with apprehension. Suddenly someone started beating their fists on the back kitchen door. Both of us just sucked in our breath, and looked at each other, terrified that it might be Guy. The beating sounds became louder and louder. The next thing we noticed was that whoever this was started kicking the door as well. Fearful the door would be forced open, Mom tiptoed quickly but quietly across the room to the telephone. I sat there motionless, holding my breath, afraid to make a move incase I made a noise he might hear. Just as she lifted the receiver to make a call for help, we heard his voice·Bucky's voice, that is. 'JULIE? WALLY? OPEN THE DOOR! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! COME ON, OPEN THE DOOR!!' His voice had a terrible sound to it, raw and hoarse. It really didn't sound like him at first. I gave Mom a look of caution. Then I realized he had sounded this way before during the times he was really upset and angry. BAM! BAM! BAM! 'I SAID OPEN UP! I KNOW YOU'RE THERE! PLEASE?', he pleaded. Mom started walking towards the door. 'It's Bucky. Oh my God! Something's wrong,' she said. 'I've got to open it. It sounds like he's hurt.' 'No, Mom·please don't. Maybe it's a trick and Guy is there with him,' I replied. Mom stood there motionless for a moment not knowing what to do. As if he had read my mind Bucky yelled out, 'I'm alone. Please let me in.' His voice sounded desperate. It was obvious he was crying. 'I've got to open the door,' Mom said while unlatching the lock. I stood there beside her as the door opened. On the porch in front of us stood my stepbrother. He was bent over, trying to catch his breath, his arms tightly clasped around his stomach, gasping for air. When he raised his head to look up at us, a more pathetic sight I had never seen. His eyes were swollen from crying and mucus ran from his nose. His face was a grotesque shade of red and there was a crazed look about him. 'Oh, Dear God, Bucky! What's happened to you? Has Guy done this to you?', Mom asked nervously. 'Come inside. Hurry·come inside.' She went onto the porch, put her arms around his shoulder and helped him into the kitchen. 'I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I DIDN'T MEAN THE THINGS I SAID!', he sobbed. 'I REALLY LOVE YOU JULIE. I DON'T HATE YOU. I REALLY, REALLY LOVE YOU AND WALLY. I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO. PLEASE STAY? PLEASE DON'T LEAVE?' The poor boy just dropped to the floor and sat there looking up at us pleading. He reached his arms up for Mom to hold him. She stooped down, sat beside him and cradled him in his arms. 'Oh, Honey·I know you don't hate us. Don't cry. I know you never meant the things that you said. Shhhh·shhhhh. It's all right·calm down. Everything is all right,' she urged. I was speechless to say the least. I had never seen Bucky so out of character. He was actually saying he loved us. 'Please forgive me?', he begged. 'There's nothing to forgive, Sweetie. You know we love you too. It is not because of you we are leaving. Bucky, it was never because of you. Don't think that for a moment. Don't you realize that it hurts me to have to leave you behind? That is the hardest thing for me to have to do, but I don't have a choice. Guy is your legal Father. There is nothing I can do.' Mom kissed him repeatedly upon the head and cheeks. It was not long before my stepbrother calmed. 'I know. I know,' he said. 'I know you have to leave because of Guy. I know he treats you bad. I know.' 'But he loves you more than anything in this world,' Mom continued. 'He couldn't live without you. Our problems never had anything to do with you.' Bucky stood up and walked towards me. Taking me by my hand he pulled me to the back door from where he had entered. 'Look! I've come to help you escape,' he said. I looked into the back yard. There on the lawn sat his old blue wagon. Inside it was filled with an assortment of clothes, shoes, books, and to my astonishment, sitting on top was my white model Cadillac my father had given me. 'It's not right that he locked your things up,' Bucky said. 'I'm stealing them back for you.' 'Oh, Bucky, No!', Mom urged. 'You must take them back right now! Put them back before he finds out. He will punish you for this! You know that he will be angry. Take them back now!' 'No, I won't! It's not right. I don't care what he does to me. They're your things and I'm going to go bring you the rest. He won't be home until tomorrow. My Mom is coming to pick me up for my weekend visit with her before he gets home. I'll be gone when he finds out the shed has been broken into.'

Dr: "How touching! What a wonderful thing to have done for the two of you. I'm truly touched."

Walden Welch, Seventh Grade

WW: "Needless to say, so were we. This was my first experience in learning that people are often times not as they appear to be. Bucky and I had been stepbrothers for almost six years, but this was the first and only time we ever had the opportunity to care for one another. Safe in knowing that Guy wouldn't return until the following day, Bucky and I emptied out the pump house. I used a wheel barrel and he his wagon. We made numerous trips back and forth from the shed to Sue's house until at last everything had been returned. When finished we concocted a plan to protect Bucky from any suspicion of stealing our belongings from Guy. Bucky and I hacked and chopped the locks off the tool shed door to make it look as if Mom and I had done it ourselves after Bucky had left for his weekend with his mother. When we had finished, I helped him feed the chickens for the very last time. He took me by the hand and led me into the far backfield behind the chicken houses. 'Come with me,' he said. 'I want you to say "Good-bye" to Brutus.' The grave was decorated with all kinds of flowers, which Bucky had picked himself. He put his arm around my shoulder and said, 'I never meant for him to die. I was scared. I didn't know what to do when Dad was killing him. Honest I didn't. I loved Brutus too. Can you forgive me? Please?' I turned to him, put my arms around him, and hugged him as closely as I could. 'Sure I do.' I said. 'I know you didn't mean it. It wasn't your fault. I knew it never was.' He gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I him. That evening Bucky had dinner with the three of us. It seems sad to say that this was the best evening that Mom and I had ever spent with him - sad because it had taken our leaving his father for him to admit that he loved us. Mom was able to give him assurance that everything was working out best for all of us. She had a special way of doing that, comforting and making sense of whatever problem plagued one. The next day Bucky left our lives forever. We watched him through the window as he drove away with his mother. Knowing we were hiding behind the curtains so that his Mother would not know we were there, he turned and smiled at us, waved and blew us several kisses as the two of them drove away. That was one of the most favorite memories of my life. Oh, yes·I forgot to mention that the $500 was still in the Cadillac where I had hidden it. Naturally, I returned it to Sue."

Dr: "What a lovely story. Thank you for sharing this."

WW: "The following day Mom and I left Stockton to move to Southern California to whatever fate had in store for us there. Sue drove us to the train station that final morning. It was a quiet drive. Not much was said. The one person who we knew we would miss the most, Sue, would be left behind. Otherwise, there would have been no heartache to our leaving. Everybody else who we had loved had either moved away, died or were a welcome relief to no longer have in our lives. I know the reason we three remained quiet during that drive was because we feared the moment of saying 'good-bye'. When we arrived at the Santa Fe Train Depot, Sue and I carried our luggage to the porter who was already admitting people to board. I was nervous trying to think of what I could say to our friend that would not give us all three cause to cry. In her own wonderful and unexpected way Sue took it upon herself to control this moment of embarrassment by saying, 'Now you two get your butts on that train before someone else takes your seats! I don't like saying "good-byes". I'm a hardhearted dame from Idaho and you'd ruin my reputation if you made this old biddy cry. Now get aboard! Do as I say·get aboard and don't look back. You two just look forward to your futures the way The Good Lord intends that you do.' She opened her purse and took a one-dollar bill and a 50 piece and slid it into my left front pants pocket. 'That's for luck, Honey.' One of Sue's superstitions was that a boy never leaves the house and starts the day without $1.50 in his left front pocket. That would be 'bad luck'. The dollar was for emergencies, and the fifty cents was for a candy bar or two. 'Thank you for the luck, Sue,' I said. 'You're welcome. Now quick·give me a kiss "good-bye" if you must, then get on with your lives.' I put my hands around her neck and pulled her face down towards mine so I could kiss her on the lips. 'I love you, Sue. I will love you always and forever,' I whispered in her ear. 'I love you too, Baby. I know you will always take care of Julie, Honey·but promise me you'll search for happiness for you, yourself too?' 'I promise,' I said. She put her wet cheek against mine and squeezed me to her very tightly. She held my arms firmly in her hands and I knew that she was doing so to stop them from trembling. When she knew she had finally gained her composure she turned to Mama and said, 'Now it's your turn, Girl. Give me a kiss and a hug for good-bye.' The two women embraced, but not a word was spoken. Mama looked sadly and deeply into her dear friend's eyes then gave her a smile that in itself said more than everything. The two of them just stood there, intently communicating their thoughts through their eyes. There is a saying that 'the eyes are the temple of the soul'. I was totally mesmerized while observing them for I knew that there was truth in that saying. All they had experienced together, the girl to girl talks, the secrets confided, the tears and the laughter, all shined through in the silence of this moment and all the while Mama was softly and intimately stroking Sue's cheek. This moment was about love and there were no words to explain it just as there are no adequate words to describe love. When they broke their embrace Sue closed her eyes, turned her back towards us and quickly walked away. That was the last time we ever saw her.

"Isn't it strange that Guy Foss was a railroad engineer yet up until this moment I had never ridden a train? Most boys would be thrilled by the experience, but I found it to be a noisy, jerky, funny smell experience. I was anxious to get to where we were going. The train ride in itself was of no interest to me. It was actually disappointing, just as Guy himself had been. I was anxious to leave him, and any remembrances of him, behind. The exciting part of our journey was, for me, the fact I have never ever traveled so far away before. The Northern California towns of Tracy, Stockton and San Francisco were all I had ever seen for the first twelve years of my life. I measured the distance from Stockton to Bakersfield on a map. It looked to be literally thousands of miles away. I watched everything from my window seat that my eyes could see. I swore that the sky became bluer, the trees greener, the fields browner as the miles past further away. Mom read to pass the time. I just watched and napped and watched. Like any anxious kid I kept asking, 'what time is it now? How much longer?' I suppose, because she was tired of my restlessness, Mom decided to take me into the Club Car for a soda. 'I want to pay for it with Sue's "good luck" money. That way we will both be lucky,' I said as we walked toward through the aisle. To my surprise and delight the Club Car was what was called a 'Vista Dome'. Do you remember those? It was a two-decker car. A huge domed, bubble shaped window covered the top section, which allowed an unlimited panoramic view. We had barely sat down when suddenly, out of nowhere, we were entirely surrounded by fields and fields of oil well derricks. I had never seen such enormously tall structures. They towered around us from every view. Each derrick appeared to me to be a perfect replica of The Tower of Babel. I could barely catch my breath from the strange beauty of it all.'Look, Mama look!', I exclaimed. 'Oil wells·oil wells everywhere! Just like the ones I paint in school.' No sooner had I spoken those words than I was struck with a revelation of awareness. Goose bumps tickled my arms. 'Mama? Mama? Are we in Bakersfield?', I asked. 'It won't be long now. We're just on the outskirts of town, Sweetie,' She replied. 'Mama, do they grow oil in Bakersfield,' I asked. 'No Sweetheart.' she laughed. "'They don't grow oil, they drill deep under the ground for it. Bakersfield is one of the biggest oil suppliers in the State of California. Bakersfield in famous for oil.' 'Well for Heaven's sake! Why didn't you tell me? If you had I would have known all along, darn it!', I pouted. 'Known what? I don't understand what you're trying to say,' she answered. 'Oh, Mama·don't you get it?', I asked breathlessly. 'No, I don't. But I wish you would tell me. You act like its something very important,' she stated. 'It is, Mama·because I just realized something wonderful. Do you remember when I was sick with "Susan-I-tis"? I asked. 'Of course I do. How could I ever forget that?', she replied. 'Well', I continued, 'Do you remember how I told you that I kept dreaming about oil wells, lots and lots of oil wells?' 'Yes I do. And you have been painting and drawing them ever since, Silly. What are you trying to say?', she asked with a patient smile. 'Well, I just now realized that God put those dreams of the oil wells in my head because He was trying to tell me we were going to be moving, and that this is the place it would be! How dumb! How dumb I am! If I had known Bakersfield had oil wells I could have figured out along time ago what He was trying to tell me. He was giving me a preview of coming attractions·just like in the movies. I was just to dumb to understand.' I curled my hands into little fists and rapped my knuckles on each side of my head for emphasis. Mom reached across our table and put one of my hands into hers. 'I love you, Sweetie,' she said along with one of her most beautiful smiles. Ditto! I love you too, Mom,' I smiled back. 'Mama, do you know what I've been wondering?', I asked. 'No, Sweetie. What have you been wondering?', she asked in reply. 'It's a personal question so you don't have to answer me if you don't want to,' I said cautiously. 'You can ask whatever you like. You know I don't have any secrets from you.' 'Well, what I was wondering is· would you tell me true·is today the number one very most happiest day of your whole life? I hope that it is and I think that it is. I have a feeling that this is the happiest day of your whole life because you are going to remarry my Dad. Isn't it?' She pondered my question for a few moments, gently shook her head 'no' and then softly spoke her answer. 'No·no, this is not my number one very most happiest day of my whole life. It is one of them though. I would have to say that today is the number two very most happiest day of my life.' Surprised by her answer I asked, 'Well then, what was the number one very most happiest day of your whole life? I'll bet I know! I'll bet is was the day you married my dad for the first time?' I watched her face intently as she again took her time pondering my second question. Once again she slowly shook her head 'no' then replied, 'No, I think I would have to say that the day I first married Bud was the third happiest day of my life.' I was totally confused by her answers and how I could have been so wrong in my assumptions. 'I know!', I said brightly. 'I'll bet it was the day you died and saw heaven and then came back alive again?' 'Wrong again, Silly,' she smiled. 'How could you be so smart and not know which day, of all days, was the happiest day of my life? Up until the day you were born the happiest day of my life had been the day I married your father. The day you were born was an even happier one. From that day on the number one happiest day of my life has been the day that you were born. It always was and it always will be.'

"I could feel our train start to slow. She squeezed my hand to attract my attention and then pointed a finger at something outside of the window that she wanted me to see. Off in the distance I could see the Santa Fe Railway Station. It was an adobe colored Spanish style building with a dark blue tile roof. Outside the building, along side the track, I could see the figure of a lone tall man. He had no luggage set beside him and so I knew he was waiting for our train to arrive. I also knew that the tall man was my father and that he was waiting to drive us home with him, to the home we had always belonged."

Dr: "And so it came to pass."

WW: "What? What came to pass?"

Dr: (Reading from The Gypsy's Riddle):

"Should you survive?

Then you shall once again see,

The tall man who has loved you for eternity"

WW: "Yes·and so it did."

Julia and Bud Welch the day of their second marriage 1956, Las Vegas, Nevada

THE END

'The Childhood Years'

Part One

"In Touch With His Soul"

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