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"The
Ruler of The Twelfth House, A Mystery"
The
True Story of a Search
THREE
By Tennessee
Williams
One I
kept
Two I lost
Three is shelter'd
under frost.
One I tired of
Two still waited.
Three the starry
meadows haunted.
One was faithful
Two was clever
Three stayed in
my heart forever.
The
interviews, which lead to the creation of "In Touch With
His Soul," concluded one afternoon on a spring day in 1983.
Author and parapsychologist Dr. Gina Cermina had conducted an
extensive three-day biographical interview with me. She had been
assigned this project for a major parapsychology magazine. During our interview, Gina became personally interested in
my life story and decided she wanted to write my biography. What
you have read of "In Touch With His Soul" may actually
be considered Gina's notes for that uncompleted biography, uncompleted
because during the process of creating this project Miss Cerminara
was suddenly stricken with cancer and died in her home in Ojai,
California on April 16th of 1984.
Gina
was fashioning my story around an intriguing riddle told to my
mother at age eight, by a Gypsy at a county fair in 1924:
"You
shall never know wealth,
Nor have good health,
At twenty-four,
A tall man at your door
He
will always love thee,
Through eternity
Tears for three
Then shall come to be,
A
blessed Magi to comfort thee'
Twenty-
seven has come,
It is time to run
The tall man to be,
Has a taste for whiskey
Seven
years more,
Through a very black door
Two men more,
Red and Gray,
Block happiness in your pathway
The
worst you will see will come five plus three
Unable to flee,
A bed and a blanket,
A shroud to thee
White
feathers, white feathers everywhere
Tears and sorrow for you, beware!
For the time has come for your greatest despair
Should
you survive?
Then
you shall once again see,
The tall man who has loved you for eternity
Heart broken,
Heart mended,
Thrice
to be."
Those
of you who have read "In Touch With His Soul" are aware
that this riddle uncannily prophesized my mother's life and death.
Both Gina and I deciphered its meanings during our extensive interview.
Only one segment of the poem went unsolved:"Tears
for three." Gina and I ended our interview scratching our
heads over this phrase. I left that day with the promise that
I would contact Gina if and when the day would come in which I
could interpret the meaning of this specific phrase and thus solve
the riddle. In July of 1995, I did solve the mystery of that riddle.
I am now keeping my promise to Gina and am telling the story of
my finding and sharing it with you. It is the story of family
lies, a remarkable mystery and an amazing search. In some instances
names have been changed. Otherwise, it is entirely true.
I call this story, "The Ruler of The Twelfth House,
The True Story of a Search." I consider this to be the completion
and conclusion to "In Touch With His Soul."
"Tears
For Three"
Chapter
One of the Conclusion
to In Touch With His Soul
I
was ten years old when I discovered that Marilyn was my sister.
Although I had known her since my very first recognitions, I had
prior to this discovery always thought her to be an older cousin.
She had been raised since birth by my maternal grandparents, whereas
I by our mutual birth mother. We had shared many holidays and
summer vacations together throughout our youth and yet until the
age of ten I had never so much as assumed Marilyn's true identity.
During
the year of 1952 my mother was bedridden, a victim of Rheumatic
Fever while also trying to recover from a recent open-heart surgery.
I was sent to live the year with mother's youngest sister Lorraine
and her family. While Christmas shopping that December my aunt
asked me to buy a gift for Marilyn.
"But why?" I asked. "I never buy Christmas presents
for Marilyn."
"Don't
be so selfish," my aunt said. "Marilyn is your sister.
The least you can do is buy her a nice gift."
I was so surprised and overtaken by her remark that I went into
shock right there in the department store and I cried and cried
for several days after. It seemed to me impossible that the mother
who I so adored could have given a child away. In my youthful
innocence I could not so much as imagine how such a horrific thing
could have occurred. My idealism and naivety was so great that
I could not even imagine my mother to have ever had sexual relationships
with a man, my father or otherwise. I assumed that mothers went
to their doctor's office where the doctor kept babies and that
he handed them the child they were to take home and call their
own. I considered myself far too wise to believe in the silly
'stork theory.' That day my aunt explained to me otherwise and
I was heartbroken by her words of truth. The information she had
shared was so abhorrent to me that I buried it inside my heart
and never spoke of what I had learned.
I never once questioned my mother regarding the information
I had been told for I was afraid of hurting and embarrassing her.
For those very same reasons I never once deeply questioned Marilyn
either until I was fifty years old. During my later teen years
we confessed to each other that we were aware we two were siblings.
However, it was not until my fiftieth year in the summer of 1993
that I fully revealed the information I had been given when I
had been ten years old. The circumstances of this sharing occurred
when my half-sister paid me an unexpected visit that year.
Our
mother's name was Julia Welch. When Marilyn was born, she had
been unmarried so at that time she went by her maiden name of
Cardoza, of course. Mama died on February 18, 1973 from complications
following her third heart surgery. Although we had exchanged yearly
Christmas and birthday cards, Marilyn and I had not had more than
three visits between us since that time. Because of this fact,
I was surprised yet delighted when Marilyn telephoned me asking
if she and our cousin Irene could come and pay me a visit.
My
cousin Irene was anybody's idea of the perfect 'favorite cousin.'
There was never a dull moment with Cousin Irene. Her humor was
infectious. She was witty, loud and terribly funny. My mother
had adored her. Irene
and Marilyn were both the same age, five years older than I. As
a child I had envied their closeness. They seemed more like sisters
than cousins. Whenever they were together they were inseparable
and had remained that way throughout the years.
"Of course you can come and visit," I said. "Come
and spend the day and stay for dinner."
She
agreed, and so on a Thursday afternoon one day in June of 1993
they arrived. My partner Stephen, wonderful chef that he is, prepared
a special prime rib roast with all the trimmings. After several
cocktails, conversation turned to family remembrances of times
long past. My mother had been Irene's favorite aunt. Marilyn (despite
the fact that she had been raised by her mother's parents rather
than Julia herself) had adored her too. That evening we lovingly
reminisced about Mom and shared our personal memories of her.
"When did you first realize that I was your sister?"
Marilyn asked matter of factly.
"I was ten years old at the time," I answered. "When
did you discover that I was your half-brother?" I asked in
return.
"I've known that fact for almost as long as I can remember,"
she replied. "Grandma told me when I was a child. I must
have been around eight or nine years old."
"Marilyn, do you know who your father was?" I asked.
"It is none of my business of course, but I have always wondered."
"Yes, Grandma told me who he was the day she told me you
and I were siblings," she answered. "His name is Jimmy
Castro. He worked for Southern Pacific Railroad in Tracy. What
his job was with the railroad I do not know?"
"Was he a married man that Mom was having an affair with?"
I asked.
"I have no idea. I never met him. I did know where he lived
when I was a kid though," she said. "I looked up his
address in the telephone book. I guess I was about ten years old.
I was a Girl Scout at that time. One afternoon when I was selling
Girl Scout Cookies I braved up the courage to walk up to his front
door with the pretense of trying to sell my cookies. The truth
was I wanted to see what he looked like. However, I chickened
out at the last moment. After I rang his doorbell I became so
frightened that I ran from his yard without once looking back.
Now of course I wish I had waited for the door to open to have
been able to see what he looked like if only for one time. But
back then I said to myself, 'Why the hell should I care about
him. He doesn't care about me. We live in the same town, Tracy,
California. He could have made contact with me if he had wanted
to.'"
"Maybe
he didn't know about you?" I offered.
"Perhaps not. I didn't think of that at the time," she
answered.
"Did you ever ask Mom anything about him?" I asked.
"No. For some strange reason I never did," she replied.
"I suppose that I was afraid that my questions would hurt
or embarrass her. She
was always so ill that I didn't want to do anything to upset her."
"I understand," I replied. "I never asked any questions
of her either for that very reason. Everybody loved Mom and did
everything they could to protect her. The ironic thing is that
we hurt ourselves by not asking the questions only she had the
answers to·like who was Jimmy Castro? Did you love him?"
"Yes", Marilyn answered, "If I had it to do over
again I would have asked these questions. It just didn't seem
right at the time. I know nothing more about the man then what
I have shared with you."
"When Aunt Lorraine told me that you were my sister she never
once mentioned your father's name. She told me two totally contradictory
stories regarding your birth. I'm certain they were both lies
and that she created these stories so that I would be sympathetic
towards Mom."
"What were the stories Lorraine told you?" Marilyn asked.
"The first story she told me was that Mom was ill and hospitalized
when you were born. She said that Mom was ill with Rheumatic Fever,
that it had damaged her heart, and that she was confined in the
hospital for almost two years before she was able to leave there
and return home again. Lorraine said that you had been left in
the care of Grandma and Grandpa and when Mom was finally released
from the hospital she came to get you but that you refused to
go home with her because by then so much time had passed that
you thought that Grandma and Grandpa were your true parents. Naturally
I assumed that my father was also your father when she related
this story. As I said before, I was too young to calculate dates
and events or consider the fact that Mama hadn't married my father
yet."
Marilyn
laughed for a moment before saying, "Lorraine's story sounds
logical? Tell me the other one!"
I continued, "I cannot remember why Lorraine contradicted
herself by relating this other story regarding your birth. Perhaps
she thought I did not believe the first story she had told me.
This all happened so many years ago that I can no longer remember
exactly what happened that day. The second story was far more
fantastic and even more tragic than the first. Lorraine told me
that Mom had been one of the contestants in a beauty pageant at
the San Joaquin County Fair. She said that Mom won first prize.
Later that evening, according to Lorraine's story, one of the
judges of the beauty pageant raped Julie. Lorraine contradicted
herself by confusing what she called rape with what was more likely
Julie's own sexual consent by stating that 'Julia had no idea
where babies came from. We were all sexually ignorant back in
those days. Our parents never discussed sexual matters with us
kids. Several months after the rape, Julie couldn't understand
why she was gaining weight. When our parents noticed the considerable
weight gain it was obvious to them that she was pregnant. Your
grandfather was outraged and threatened to kill the man who had
raped his daughter. In order to protect the man Julie refused
to give your grandfather his name.'"
"This story is even better than the first one," Marilyn
said laughing. "If Julie was raped why in the world wouldn't
she give the man's name?"
" You're right. That's exactly what I mean. Aunt Lorraine's
contradictions make this story seem preposterous," I replied.
" However, in my innocence I chose to believe parts of both
of these stories. I did not want to see Mom as anything but perfect.
Now, as an adult I realize how foolish these stories were, but
they won my sympathy for Mom and because of them I never questioned
her about you."
"Well, as I said, I never questioned Julie either,"
Marilyn answered. "All I know is what Grandma told me when
I asked her who my father was.
She gave me the original copy of my birth certificate that
day. The name of Jimmy Castro is typed in where it asks 'who is
the father of this child?' I expected this matter of my birth
to come up during this visit. If you had not brought the matter
up I intended too. Actually Irene and I planned this visit to
discuss this matter as well as something else that is related
to it. I brought a copy of my original certificate of birth for
you to have," Marilyn said as she reached into her purse
and passed me the document.
As
I reached to take it from her hand she stopped me from doing so
by clutching it firmly between her fingers. "Wait!"
she cautioned. "I am going to warn you that you are going
to be upset when you read this document. There is some information
contained on this record that has been withheld from you all your
life. I didn't want to hurt you or to destroy the love you feel
towards your mother and so I kept this a secret from you. However,
I feel guilty that I have withheld this information from you because
it is your right to know about it. I guess I was hoping either
Bud or Julia would let you know about this before they died but
they never did, and so the unpleasant task is left to me.
I hope you will not be angry with me. I have only hidden
this information to protect you, Wally. Please believe me and
don't be angry that I have waited so long to present this. I still
don't know if I am doing the right thing by you. However, I feel
I owe you the truth no matter how you take it."
Although
I was confused by her words I was deeply apprehensive regarding
what it was she was about to tell me. I took a deep breath as
Marilyn handed me her birth certificate.
I took the document from her hand and held it beneath the
lighted candle on the dining table to read its contents. I read
it twice before looking at her questioningly and stating, "I
don't understand. It just mentions the hospital you were born
in, your birth date, weight, and your parent's names. Yes, I see
the name Jimmy Castro is listed here."
"You did not read it thoroughly," Marilyn replied. "Read
the bottom line."
Once
again I held the birth certificate to the candles light. I scanned
the document to the last line on the paper which read, 'How many
living children proceeded this child's birth? Written in someone's
hand was the answer, 'One female child.'
I
dropped the document on the table and looked across the table
at my sister. At first I could not speak.
Marilyn placed her hand into mine and squeezed it tightly.
She had a deeply concerned look upon her face and I realized
that my reaction to the news I had received had most likely frightening
her.
"Are you all right?" she asked.
I
dumbly shook my head 'yes' and then said somewhat disbelievingly,
"Oh my God, Marilyn. Your birth certificate says that Mom
already had one living daughter before you were born! That is
not possible! How can that be possible?"
I looked into her eyes pleadingly as if begging her to tell me
that what I had discovered was not true. "This cannot be
true, Marilyn. Do you believe this is true?"
Marilyn
looked me directly in the eye and slowly shook her head 'yes'
in reply.
"I can't believe this!" I stammered. "Mom could
not have given a child away. I cannot believe this!"
"Wally, don't forget that Julie gave me away" Marilyn
replied quietly.
I stood up and stared into her face not knowing what to say and
then I ran from the dining room and into the bathroom where I
quickly wet a hand towel and placed it over my face. I listened
as I heard myself say, "I'm going to be sick! I'm going to
be sick!"
A
moment or two later I heard someone knocking on the guest bathroom
door. "Are you all right? Wally, please come out. Are you
all right?" Both Marilyn and Irene were pleading with me
to answer.
Embarrassed
by my emotional reaction I drew a few long, deep breaths to compose
myself and then I opened the door and stated, "Yes, I'm all
right." I then walked into the living room and sat by the
fireplace as they, along with Stephen, joined me.
"Marilyn,
you must tell me, please. Who is this girl? What do you know about
her? Is she still alive?" I asked.
Marilyn
moved from across the room and sat beside me putting her arm around
my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Wally," she sighed. "I
really know nothing about her."
"Did you tell Grandma that you knew about her, that you knew
from the information on your birth certificate that you had a
sister?" I asked.
"Yes, yes I did," Marilyn answered. "But
you know how Grandma was about gossip?" she stated.
"No, I don't know what you mean. How was Grandma about gossip?"
I asked,
"How could you have forgotten?" she replied. "Grandma's
philosophy was that if you didn't have something good to say about
somebody then say nothing at all. When I questioned her about
this other child she said to me, 'Curiosity killed the cat! Keep
you nose out of other people's business! If you poke your
nose into other people's business it might get snapped off!
This matter is none of your business!'"
"And
you accepted that for an answer?" I asked.
"What choice did I have?" Marilyn replied. "Grandma's
final word was her final word. You know that. I could have asked
the same question over and over till I was blue in the face and
she would never have budged an inch."
"Yes, that's true. I remember how stubborn and secretive
she was," I replied.
"I think our cousin Connie Vierra might know something about
who this girl is," Marilyn commented. She was referring to
our mother's second-oldest sister's daughter. "As you know,
Connie owns a beauty parlor in Tracy. Like most beauticians she
is privy to just about every juicy piece of gossip going around.
Several years ago Connie told me that there was a rumor in Tracy
that a certain woman in town is the child our mother gave up for
adoption. Connie said that this woman and two of her daughters
used to be clients of hers. Connie said that one-day she personally
confronted this woman with the rumor that she was Julie's illegitimate
child who was given up for adoption. According to Connie the woman
became angry and denied the accusation and then stormed out of
the beauty parlor curlers and all and never again stepped foot
in her shop, nor did her two daughters."
"Well who could blame her? That was pretty tactless way for
Connie to handle the situation," I commented.
"Well," Marilyn continued, "The fact of the matter
is that the woman Connie questioned had been adopted at birth.
Everybody in Tracy was aware of that fact."
I
paused for a moment and then asked, "Is it possible? Do you
think that maybe this woman is our sister?"
"Who knows?" Marilyn replied. "The woman denied
the allegation so we just have to accept that."
"But who is she? What is her name?" I asked.
"I have no idea," Marilyn replied, "Connie refused
to give me the woman's name. The situation I just told you of
happened many, many years ago. Connie and I have never spoken
of it since."
I looked into my sister's eyes in disbelief and said, "But
how can you accept not knowing? Why didn't you insist that Connie
give you this lady's name for God sake? After all she could be
our sister and Connie might be the only person in the world who
knows who she is."
"I did question her, Wally. I did try to make her give me
the woman's name, believe me I did, but Connie refused. She said,
'Tracy is a small town and gossip gets around too easily here.
I refuse to tell you who this woman is because I could get myself
into a lot of trouble. She comes from a powerful family and she
warned me that I had best stop this rumor for my own good. My
business started to drop off shortly after this incident. Several
of my clients cancelled their appointments and never came back.
The clients that did cancel with me were all friends of this woman
and her family.' Connie also said that one evening she and her
husband Earl went out to dinner at a popular local restaurant.
When she and Earl walked into the restaurant the woman she was
talking about and her husband were in the middle of finishing
their dinners when Connie and Earl were seated. The moment this
woman saw that Connie and Earl were in the same room with them,
both she and her husband immediately left the restaurant, meals
unfinished!"
"I think Connie owes us the right to know this woman's name.
We could look into this matter discreetly without getting her
involved," I stated.
"Save your breath," Marilyn answered. "Connie is
just as stubborn as Grandma was. You will never get this woman's
name out of her. I gave up trying to get her to tell me the name
of this woman because I knew Connie was genuinely afraid to become
further involved in this matter. I didn't feel I had the right
to further upset her. Besides I'm sure there must be dozens of
adopted people living in Tracy. Connie stated that she fully believes
that this woman is not our mother's child."
"But Connie doesn't know that for a fact. There is a possibility
that she could be our sister. That is not for Connie to decide.
We have the right to decide that for ourselves," I pleaded.
Marilyn
removed her arm from my shoulder and took my hand into hers. "Stop
for a moment and think about this. I don't think it is very likely
this mystery woman is our sister because it doesn't seem very
logical that she would have been adopted out into a family that
lived in the very same small town as our mother and her parents.
Isn't it more likely she would have been sent away to another
town or state far, far away?" she asked.
"Yes, yes, that does seem more logical," I agreed.
"However, I also have to tell you that Connie admitted that
this lady looks a great deal like Julie. That is the one part
that has always bothered me."
"Is that so?" I asked. "That fact bothers me too
Marilyn. This whole matter bothers me more than you could know,"
I replied. "Something deep inside me makes me think this
woman is our missing sister."
We
sat is silence for a moment before Marilyn continued. "I
am sorry that I waited this long to tell you about this. I was
afraid of your reaction. Have I done the wrong thing by letting
you know about our sister? " she asked in a tone of true
sincerity.
"No, Marilyn. You did the right thing by telling me. I am
so shocked to know that our mother could do such a heartless thing
as to give a child away for adoption. As you know I loved her
more then words could ever say.
I am terribly ashamed to have discovered that she could
have given her babies away·not once, but twice. What kind of woman
was she really? I am hurt and I am angry. I feel she betrayed
me and I am disgusted with her behavior and very angry at her."
I paused for a moment and then added, "How naive I am! Why
should I be so shocked? She did the same thing to you! Oh God,
Marilyn, what kind of person was she really?"
"I
would like to answer that," my cousin Irene interrupted.
She hadn't spoken in a long while and I had almost forgotten that
she was in the room with us. "I damn well loved Julie as
much as the two of you and so I would like to say a few things
in her defense. First of all I want to remind you that your mother
had been told from the time she was a child that she was not expected
to live to the age of eighteen. She had been born, what was then
called, a 'Blue Baby.' I
don't know what that is exactly but it had something to do with
not having enough oxygen in her system at the time of birth. This
fact in itself weakened her heart and that condition was further
disturbed when as a small child she contacted Rheumatic Fever.
From that point on Julie would never have a healthy heart again."
"We know all of this, Irene," I interrupted.
"Wait! Let me finish! I have more to say," she demanded.
"If my mathematics are correct, Julie was twenty-two when
Marilyn was born. Julie was born in 1916 and Marilyn was born
in 1938."
"Yes, that would have made her twenty-two at the time I was
born," my sister answered.
"Well, we have no exact date as to when this other daughter
was born but it is likely she was born somewhere between 1932
to 1937 and so we can assume that Julie gave birth to this child
somewhere between her sixteenth and twenty-first years. I wonder
if it is possible that Jimmy Castro was also this child's father?"
Irene
asked.
"I have no idea," Marilyn replied. After answering Irene,
Marilyn turned to me and asked, "Do you think it is possible
that the story Aunt Lorraine told you about Julie being raped
by a judge at The San Joaquin County Fair Beauty Pageant could
be true? Do you suppose that our sister could be from that man·if
that story is true?"
"I have no idea whatsoever", I replied wearily. "This
is all too much for me."
"Well here is what I think," Irene continued. "I
think that our grandparents took the child from Julie and adopted
her out because they believed that Julie would not live to raise
the child. Doctors had stated that Julie would not live beyond
the age of eighteen. Therefore, I believe she must have been somewhere
between the ages of sixteen and eighteen when this baby was born."
"That would make sense," Marilyn answered.
"Further more," Irene continued, "This all happened
during those good old Catholic guilt days when the worst fate
that could befall a young woman was to bear a child out of wedlock.
It is likely our grandparents adopted out the child in order to
protect Julie's reputation. I think that these ideas I share are
likely to be good reason for the adoption of this baby."
"This is possibly true, Irene," I interrupted. "However,
it still does not explain to me how my mother could be so uncaring
as to adopt out two children in her lifetime? That is what upsets
me. I am being subjected to a side of Mom's nature I never dreamed
possible."
"We understand that," Stephen said. His voice surprised
me for this was the first time he had spoken since I had been
subjected to the news of my other sister's existence.
"I'm
sorry Stephen. I didn't mean to ignore you and leave you out of
this conversation," I said apologetically.
"No problem, " he replied. "I have always said
you learn more by listening than speaking. Wally, I knew Julia
very well and I loved her greatly. Forgive me for saying this
but I think you are being very unfair to your mother because you
are failing to understand what she experienced back then. You
feel betrayed because you have discovered you have a sister you
were never told about. Have you, however, stopped to consider
why your mother held this information from you? Have you?"
he asked.
"No, I haven't thought about that yet," I confessed.
"I'm still in a state of shock over all of this."
"She obviously did not tell you because she was fearful that
you would not love her if you were aware of these facts. When
I say 'facts' I am also referring to the fact that Julie had never
discussed Marilyn's illegitimacy with you either. From all I have
heard about you as a child, you were a very moralistic and up
righteous young boy."
"Amen to that!" Marilyn stated with a laugh.
"I second that motion!" Irene answered with a cackle
while rolling her eyes backwards in her head. "Julie was
protecting you and also protecting herself. She was afraid that
you would fail to be understanding of her situations and in your
lack of compassion you would reject her from your life. She was
fearful of losing your love. Obviously, she was ashamed of these
situations that had happened in her past. I knew her very well
and I know in all certainty that she was one of the most loving
and good persons one could ever hope to know.
I think you are failing to remember all that was good and
wonderful about her. I believe that you are so upset by this news
that you are failing to think clearly and are therefore jumping
to conclusions far too quickly. We all have skeletons in our closets,
Wally. Julie was trying to hide her indiscretions from you. Just
by the fact that she was ashamed shove prove to you she had decency."
"Also, don't forget how pretty Mama was, Wally," Marilyn
interrupted. "Naturally boys would have gone head over heels
for her when she was a young girl."
"And during those backward days kids knew little if anything
about how children were conceived," Irene added. "Sex
was something that was never discussed between parents and child.
God knows Grandpa and Grandma Cardoza would never have brought
up the subject!" Irene laughed.
For
a short while we four sat in silence. It seemed as if my friends
could no longer find words to comfort me.
"What are you thinking?' Stephen asked. "You look as
if you are off in some other world."
Stephen
was right. My mind was off in another world, or at least I was
thinking backwards into another time.
"I was thinking about Reverend Pearl Shannon," I answered.
"What about Pearl?" Stephen asked. "Who is Reverend
Pearl Shannon?" Marilyn asked.
"Pearl Shannon died a few years ago. She was a psychic friend
of ours."
"Why
has she come to your mind now?" Stephen asked me.
"Stephen,
do you remember back when we lived on Divisadero Street in San
Francisco? Do you remember that day, I think it was in 1964, when
I went to Pearl for my first psychic reading with her?"
"Yes, I remember that day," Stephen replied. "What
about it?"
I laughed. "Well, that day she told me that I had two living
sisters. I told her that she was both right and wrong regarding
her psychic impression. I explained to her about Marilyn's birth
five years before mine. After that I told her about our sister
Priscilla's birth in 1942, the year before I was born.
'Priscilla
only lived a few short months. She died from Peritonitis, Pearl,'
I explained. 'You are correct that I did have two sisters but
one sister died. Only Marilyn is left now.'
'No, you re wrong,' Pearl insisted. 'Dr. Stafford is certain there
are two living sisters,'she stated."
"Wait. I'm confused. Who is Dr. Stafford?" Marilyn asked.
"He
was Reverend Pearl's spirit guide," I answered. "Dr.
Stafford was an 18th century physician who had died
and Pearl had the psychic ability to communicate with him on the
other side. He related information to her told from those who
had died."
"This is getting too spooky for me!" my cousin Irene
stated.
Knowing
that our guests were uncomfortable with the subject of our conversation
I decided to drop our discussion and return to matters more comfortable
for them. "Sorry, it just happened to be what I was thinking
about. Stephen asked and so I shared it. Let's talk about something
else," I stated.
"Are you two are coming to the family reunion next week?"
Marilyn asked. This reunion was being held on the first day of
July at Lincoln Park in Tracy, California.
"Yes, we will be there," I answered.
Stephen
looked at me as if questioning my reply then stated, "I thought
you said that you didn't want to go to the reunion."
"I didn't, but I have changed my mind," I replied.
"But why? he asked.
"Because
I want to question some of my relatives about this unknown sister.
All my remaining aunts and uncles will be there. Somebody has
to know something about her."
"You have got to keep Connie out of this. She would really
be mad at me if she knew I told you anything about this. Please
don't stir up any trouble. I'm sure none of our relatives knows
anything about the birth of our sister," Marilyn stated.
"If anybody knew about her we would have heard something
long before now. I think the secret regarding her birth died when
Grandma and Grandpa did. If anyone knew, they knew. If any of
our other relatives knew about her they would have said something
about her long before now."
"Perhaps they would. Perhaps they wouldn't. I have to search
and find out what I can for myself. We will be at the reunion,"
I stated firmly. "I have to be there. I have to do what I
can to try and find her. I promise you I will be as discreet as
possible."
It
had been a long and trying evening. Not long after my final comments
our guests excused them selves and departed for home.
That
night I crawled into my bed in a state of total exhaustion. However,
I was so emotionally upset that I could not sleep at all. I wanted
the relief that tears could bring me but I was so angry that my
mother had betrayed me that I could not cry. I tossed and turned
hoping to find sleep but it would not come. I left my bed at 4:00
AM and went outside to sit by the pool. It was a warm summer's
morning and I watched as the stars and the Moon reflected upon
the water.
"You were correct, Reverend Pearl," I whispered, as
I looked upward into Heaven as if Pearl Shannon were watching
me below. "I do have two living sisters·just as you said."
"How could I have ever doubted that you, of all people, could
have been wrong?" My thoughts then turned to Gina Cerminara
who had died on April 16th of 1984, nine years earlier
from this the day of my discovery. "Well Gina·I did it!"
I whispered into the night air. "I finally solved The Gypsy's
Riddle.
Tears
for three
Then shall come to be
A
blessed Magi
To comfort thee
What the Gypsy
had prophesized were the losses of my mother's first three children.
My second sister, Marilyn, was never to be raised by my mother,
but rather by my mother's parents. It was in this way that Julie
had lost this child. Priscilla, Mom's third child (by the same father
as myself) had died in her infancy in 1942. Her first child, unknown
to all of us, had either been taken, or willingly given away, at
birth. I was the fourth child, the one The Gypsy referred to as
'The Magi', the Hebrew name for Astrologer.
"I finally
solved the Gypsy's riddle Gina!" I said once again·but sadly.
I thought to myself, I wish I never had. "Why did you keep
the truth from me Mama? I asked. "Why didn't you tell me
I had a sister, Grandma?" I scolded. "Did you know about
her, Dad?" I questioned as I looked into the heavens above
me trying to find my relative's faces amongst the stars in the
sky. In my anger I was hoping to provoke their spirits but the
only voices I conjured came from the frogs and crickets that lived
in the forest that surrounded my home.
"How
do I find her?" I asked them. "Where do I begin? Is
she still alive? Dear God, please help me. Where do I begin?'"
No sooner had I asked these questions when I was startled by a
voice speaking clearly within my head.
"You
begin with the Ruler of The Third House," it said.
I raised myself
from my lounge chair and sat erect turning my body to see if someone
was standing beside me? There was no one there. A chill ran down
my spine.
"Gina
was that you speaking to me?" I asked. There was no answer.
"Pearl? Pearl, was that you?" I questioned. Again there
was no reply.
Perhaps the
voice I had heard was that of my imagination. I said to myself,
or perhaps I was just very weary from a long and sleepless night?
I rose from my lounge and in my bare feet I cautiously
made my way back towards my bedroom.
Midway there
I once again heard that voice. Again it said, "You begin
with The Ruler of The Third House!"
I stood very
still, somewhat frightened because this time I was certain that
I had indeed heard it. I took a deep breath to compose myself
and then smiled as it finally occurred to me that is was my own
voice that I was hearing.
"But
of course that is where I will begin!" I answered myself.
"How could I be so stupid? Of course, The Third House is
exactly where to start! Why had I not thought of that from the
beginning?" I hurriedly returned to my bedroom and began
to do exactly what my inner voice had directed me to do.
To
be continued·
Next
Part
two
"The
Reunion"
A
mystery.
The
true story of a search
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